Unholy Confessions

2011-03-14T23:18:00.002+08:00

I don't like anyone. I don't like anyone. I don't like anyone. I don't like anyone. I don't like anyone. I don't like anyone. I don't like anyone. I don't like anyone now. I don't like anyone. I don't like anyone. I don't like anyone. I don't like anyone. I don't like anyone. I don't like anyone. I don't like anyone. I don't like anyone. I don't like anyone. I don't like anyone. I don't like anyone. I don't like anyone.

Maybe if I type this long enough, I'll start believing it too.

2011-03-13T22:49:00.002+08:00

Well, I guess I'm starting to fall for this guy. I really don't want to, but I can't stop that right? But it's so annoying. I don't know for sure if I truly like him for who he is, or if I like him just because he cares about me. I don't want it to be that way. Maybe putting all these feelings aside now is the best thing for me to do now, it feels like the right thing to do. Things have been rough, and he has always been there listening to me, talking to me and telling me whats right or wrong. But it's not about all those, is it? It's how he makes me feel, how happy I get when I text him all night long. Be it if we're flirting or arguing about something stupid, it still makes me happy. And that's how I want things to be, but no ones a fool to not know that I actually like him, alot.

And then there's my ex. It's like, he's trying to make me jealous. And no, I don't even like him as a boyfriend or anything. But I want him back, but nothing more than just a bestfriend. I keep wanting to text him and talk to him but I know I shouldn't but I can't help it. It's like, when I tell him I saw a cute guy and he smiled at me, my ex has to rub it in that 5 girls asked him out on valentines day and even booked places for him. Honestly, are you trying to make me jealous? I hope not, we've got no reason to make each other jealous.

I just want my life back the way it used to be. Before there were even any guys involved. The more I talk to the guys in my life, the less I want to be any of them. The less I want to know them, the less I want to date. And the more I feel like being crook. And I don't want to feel this way. It feels really horrible, and I really want to break down. But I'm stronger than that right, so I'm not gonna let some guy get his way with me and drive me nuts. They're all just using me for entertainment, prolly. But I don't know. And the only way I'll ever know is by letting nature take it's course and do its work. Till then I can only wait and if I've got a really strong urge to do something, I'm gonna do it. Yup.

2011-01-24T22:30:00.002+08:00

It's been ages since I've blogged here. So yeah, I decided to blog here since tumblr is down and I really need to blog. HAHA. So well, life's been pretty good recently. Well, maybe it isn't good, but it will be good, that I believe. I went for church on saturday, and it was really awesome. It gave me a whole new perspective to why certain things happen in my life. Then today was well, pretty tiring. I went to a kindergarten at dunman road which is near east coast. Then I headed back to school then back to asian civilisations museum and then we walked to Funan and then I walked to Bugis to meet charmaine after that. I really miss old times, those good old carefree days. Well, we never treasure the things we have till we lose it. But we won't know what we have till we lose it. But yeah, I really miss being in queensway, being really crazy about soccer to the extend I'd skip lunch just to play soccer. And most of all, I miss my dearest coach who taught us how to play soccer and what passion really was. If not for a coach like him, I prolly won't be the person I am today. So, thank you coach. You've been really good to me, and one day, I promise to make you proud and do something for you. I really want you to know, you're one of the few people who have impacted my life in such a great way and for that you'll never ever be forgotten.

2009-08-31T20:18:00.002+08:00

The past few days have been going well, despite the on going prelims. Managed to relax and enjoy abit, after so long. But I keep having this urge, after so long, now I'm having it again. This time it feels so weird, I shan't bother about anything or anyone till the end of O levels I guess. Prelims are coming to an end soon, somehow I've got the feeling that I'm one of the four who failed physical geography. I'm scared the results would be a disappointment. I just hope to do well in Os to get into psychology, I will always have soccer to back me up. Precisely why I love soccer so much!(:

Each day i waste time thinking about you
Each night i dream about you
Each hour I wonder what you're doing
Each minute I long for you
Each second without you is agonizing

2009-08-23T11:41:00.003+08:00

Heyos, Prelims have officially started. I've been procastinating way too much and now I've got so much study. I'll only be concentrating on 3 to 4 topics for social studies. I really feel like a slacker now. I shall start studying again after I get back from tuition. I really hope to do well for prelims, and if I don't I'll stop playing soccer till end of Olevels I guess. I won't be using the com until end of prelims I guess. I need to do well in maths, geog, combined humanities and well, others. But I'm focusing on these few for now. And I realised, I have 4 humanities paper straight starting from monday to thursday. I pity my hand): Till end of prelims then, bye(:

2009-08-20T19:11:00.003+08:00

Most of the things I do, keep reminding me of you, especially when I'm alone. I remember all the conversations with you, the simple things you said that would make my day, those very simple things that made me see many things that I've been missing and putting aside in my life. I remember every single thing, but do you remember any of them? I doubt so. But what really happened to you? Why did you tell me all those lies,I've got no idea.Was it cause you thought it was wrong? Or was it because you didn't want to control yourself? I'll never know and I won't bother trying to figure any of those out anymore.Cause now, your just a goner in my life. DEAD AND GONE(:

2009-08-11T19:22:00.003+08:00

The past few days have been going pretty well. I learnt something though, if you have no expectation of anyone, then you can be very happy. And when hoping, hope for the worst scenario, so it doesn't hurt when things go wrong(: I'm changing my phone tomorow, but I haven't decided which one yet.): I can't wait for o levels to be over!I'm pretty excited on what I can do.I wanna join a club for soccer, maybe only, then train 400m hopefully get to run for nationals. On the week after o levels, the friday we'll be having a class barbeque, then exactly one week after o levels there will be prom and we have to prepare the dance and stuff. I can't wait to do all those things, but to make time pass faster I have to really hit the books. And I'm gonna save up to buy that arsenal shirt I saw! I so want the shirt and jersey, but I'll just have to wait.(: Patience is a virtue.

I've got fire burning in my eyes,
even if you try you cant stop me.

2009-08-09T21:02:00.003+08:00

I really feel like giving up. Each time I wanna try something new, there'll always be one person who'll make me wanna stop trying. It's cause of the fact that I might be able to play soccer soon, or things might get better, or maybe you'll take back your words one day, these are the only things that keep me going on these days. I miss all those times, when you would...forget it, I don't wanna remember anything I used to do. I'm looking forward to the end of O levels so that I can start training again, and probably train for 400m and run for nationals. I know that won't come true anytime soon, but I'll keep trying till I really fall. That sounds more like me(: hahahah. I'll won't be blogging much anymore, prelims are coming in lightening speed and o levels is in 2 months, I've gotta start mugging soon.

2009-08-07T19:27:00.002+08:00

Hey hey. Today was good! Sang national day songs with much enthusiasm.We got into a lift packed like sardines, ran out of the lift to the parade square and sang songs. Showed ok and thumbs up sign to mr tan, inside joke(: Then rushed off to jjc to play soccer. I got off the wrong bus stop and walked 3 bus stops to jjc. But it was worth it. Coach said I improved alot and I'm more mature now? Obviously right, after all, I am taking o levels this year and I'm 16 even though I dun look like one. And after what happened yesterday, soccer was the best way to let it all go. It felt good to let it all out by soccer(: I'm happy now.

You's better be waiting when I strike
Cause I wont go easy on you.

2009-08-05T20:57:00.002+08:00

"I eat soccer, I sleep soccer, I breathe soccer. I'm not mad, I'm just passionate," quoted from mr Chua(:

2009-08-05T19:50:00.003+08:00

Heyos! I feel happy today, for no apparent reason. My stomach is hurting again): Why? Cause I haven't been eating properly. Went to Diana's place to pass her homeworks. Then I saw my aunt, then I went back home and fell asleep in my school uniform. I'm so tired, I should sleep early today. Just for today, I wanna spend the weekend studying with friends. Besides, it's national day holiday, long weekend! And prelims is in 2 weeks time, I really needa start revising for human geog, history, social studies and science. I hate chemistry cause of you know who. I'm thinking of who I should study with...

2009-08-04T19:04:00.003+08:00

The days seem to be getting longer and harder. I really feel like running away, I wanna start training super hard but now isn't the time, Os is in 2 months. I wanna get back my fitness level, then I can start playing soccer everyday like how I used to. I miss 07, as in the year. It held lots of great memories. I remember playing concentration, getting scolded together as a team, I miss the '07 team. The people in school felt nicer. Unlike now, I really miss those times alot. Hope things are like that now.I know those times will never come back. And money can't buy those memories and times. Wished I had treasured it more...

2009-08-03T18:53:00.001+08:00

Your view on yourself:

You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:

You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

2009-08-03T17:37:00.002+08:00

I'm pissed off, angry enough to really injure someone badly. Sorry about the bad mood in the morning, was feeling very pissed and sad as well. Don't wanna say why here, but charmaine knows why. Maybe it's about time I stop bothering about you, I should make you know the feeling of no one being there when you need someone. Would you like that feeling? You wouldn't then why do you do that to me? You guys fucking suck to the fucking core of the earth. I'm really pissed butI'm controlling all of that feelings. I want to get everything out of me, but there's no one, really no one. & I dun wanna cry about all these things anymore, I'm really tired of doing all these... So I'm letting go of it for now, for the best of everything and myself. This time I will really let you go, I've enough of acting that I'm okay when I'm really not, I'm sick of crying.

Now that I'm determined,
I feel so much stronger.
I'm not as weak as you think I am
You said I wouldn't let go,
but now I'm letting go, honey.(:
Only time can tell if I've really let go.

2009-08-01T21:28:00.002+08:00

Hey, I'm feeling happy even though I'm listening to sad korean songs. hehe. But yeah, I'm waiting... I shall distract myself by studying super hard like how I did the other night. I feel so hardworking. So today was quite ok, went to bukit purmei the park again. It was relaxing till this group of indian girls came. They were talking about some daniel and dinesh and other lame stuff. And this girl kept looking at me and diana, jealous eh? hahah, cause me and diana were singing and I was playing korean songs! hahahah, laughed at what they said and stuff, I tried not to laugh but couldn't help it. I love diana's place now! hahaha.

Love is when you don't tell the person how you feel because you would hurt the person even though the person has hurt you. Said by a 6 or 8 year old. I wouldn't even be able to think of something like that to say. I'm touched.(:

2009-07-31T20:06:00.002+08:00

I'm damn happy now! and diana knows part of the reason, hehe. I'll leave her in suspence till then(: hehe. So, it was a good idea. That dream and the situation I was stuck in really makes sense to me now. The dream was a butterfly went into my ear and I couldn't take it out even with auni's help. And I'm scared of butterflies, so it shows me running away from somethingI was scared of doing. But today, I told you(: I feel proud of myself. School was good as well, the whole day was used to do maths and mrs toh praised me!(: And what the DM meant alot to me, it really did. I feel very motivated to do well in my O levels with no distraction. O levels first paper is 96 days away. That should really start my engine to study. I nearly cried as I read and realized how true each of it was, and how I've been through such moments before. And there was someone yesterday at the crossroads with me yesterday(: I really appreciate that. I feel damn stupid, I just wrote the lyrics to 'because I'm stupid' by ss501 and I realised I could have copied and paste and slowly copy it into my book cause I had searched for it online and I didn't scroll down so I thought there wasn't any lyrics translated to english. Stupid shanky!hahah.

Baby come back to me,
Baby come back to me...
Maybe you aren't worth it,
but I feel like holding on to you.
I hope it doesn't backfire.
HOPE

2009-07-30T18:43:00.003+08:00

Heyo! This week is getting better, well, slightly. I'm still contemplating. To do or not to do, I'm scared. I know I should tell you how much you helped me, but I'm scared cause you seemed very angry that night. And I can't see you online either, I'd rather talk to you online. So what do I do now? I see 2 roads, one is to wait to see you online and the other is to sms you. But I'm damn scared to sms you, but if I dun then it'll keep bothering me. It still is even though it's already been one week since we last talked. What do I do? I'm stuck at the cross roads with no map in my hand to guide me. Now I realise the meaning of that dream!(: I guess I know what I should I do now, I just need to ask someone about it.

2009-07-29T20:25:00.002+08:00

I was thinking of changing my blogskin, then after talking to laikuan and diana, I realized... prelims is only 3 weeks from now. I'm in such deep shit trouble! I've been procastinating way too much. So if I procastinate for studies, I won't let myself play soccer. Punishment, thats the only way I'll study! So yeah, I'll not touch the soccer ball till I study for at least 2 hours a day. 2 hours isn't much right? It wouldn't kill me, I guess I would just cut back on watching TV so that I can use com. Hope that helps me to study. I should be going off soon to study, I'm motivated. And today I helped this old lady carry her heavy bag cause she was struggling with it. I'm such a nice person, I feel peace descending upon me. Today was a very good day, I love today!(:

2009-07-28T19:33:00.003+08:00

I really wanna give up, again. I've never felt so weak before, even 2 years ago, I was never like that. Why am I like this now? I've got no idea anymore. Maybe I feel like I've lost something really important in my life, but I haven't lose anyone important. Maybe I'm drifting away from something, something tells me things will get better once I say thank you, but I've got no strength to see what will come after I hit the send button. I've realised my blog posts are getting worst day by day, I'm sorry for that): But there's just too many things, I blog a happy post soon enough(:

2009-07-27T21:07:00.001+08:00

Can I call you just once to hear your voice?
I just wanted to talk to you awhile that night.
Why'd you do that last night?
Not just ready to let it go so easily...

2009-07-27T20:40:00.002+08:00

Now I'm wondering if maybe what they said is true, cause I'm starting to believe it's true.My temper and mood have been pretty bad lately, blame it on a certain people, but it's partly my fault for not being able to be in control anymore. I really don't know if I'm stupid for the way I'm acting, but I've got a strong feeling it's not stupid. It's the least I can expect but if you think she's way better than I am then seriously, tell it to me in the face rather than just hanging out with her. You should know who you are, I don't want to talk to you about this cause I know it will end up in a fight, and I dun want it to be that way. I've got no strength to fight with anyone anymore. I just don't wanna fight, is that alot to ask for? And it's her fault if she has to mix with that person, she mixed with her, no one forced her to. I'm really hoping this week would get better, I can't take it anymore, I can feel tears welling up in my eyes easily, even for the most slightest thing. But see, I don't have anyone to talk to, and if I wanted to talk to you, your always fucking with her, how'd you expect me to talk with her around? Why's everyone changing their course away from me, maybe I should isolate myself or something? Contemplating...

2009-07-25T23:28:00.003+08:00

I'm still losing my temper quite abit, haven't got any idea on how to control it yet. I'm trying my very best to keep it in control and sorry if I vented my anger on you. I really didn't mean to, but I couldn't control I guess. So many things have been going through in my head that I even fell sick. If you know me, I dun usually fall sick, this is the first time in this year I think. I'm not sure how to manage all of these. I can clearly see that alot of people are disappointed in me. If there was at least one person who would believe in me, it'd mean alot to me. But I think not right, I've let too many people down too many times before. I still feel the sting, but I'm trying to change that.I'll keep trying no matter how much it hurts like how I used to hold on.

you made me realize what I am,
what I can do and I'm thankful for that.
so without tears in my eyes,
I'm letting you go, finally.
but I hate you for your lies.

2009-07-24T21:15:00.001+08:00

I dun wanna take the medicine! Its so so so so gigantic and huge!
Hate doctors and medicines!):

2009-07-24T19:18:00.003+08:00

Yesterday was good, I guess. Went to cineleisure to have dinner with coach! It's been super long since we really sat down and talked like that. One of the best nights, seriously. We'll meet again soon. Took lots of pics, ate the super spicy nasi goreng, Laikuan and me couldn't stand the spiciness, while coach ate the spicy nasi goreng with sambal balachan! Reached home at about 10.30, the ride back home sucked I guess. I didn't mind going home alone but it was the way you texted me. So all you said were all lies, none of it was true at all. Seriously, no one has evert treated me in such a way before. Just hope not to see him outside alone, it'll be some world war 3 or something if we met. But I don't care anymore. Did maths homework till 12.30 last night, I couldn't wake up this morning, but forced myself to get up. Drank 10ml of the cough syrup and I couldn't pay attention and I was freezing, Mrs toh thought I was sick, and now I'm really sick. Went to the doctor just now, have fever and cough and flu, and I needa swallow huge tablets! I hate tablets!

Don't think I'm weak cause Imma fighter, honey.
Looking back, it was stupid to hold on and now,
I've finally let go of you, you'll regret this(:

2009-07-22T20:24:00.002+08:00

I want you so badly even though I know I wouldn't get you.
Or at least, it's the person who you once used to be,
I'll give up I guess, but that's so unlike me,
maybe that's why I'm still holding on,
with hope that you'll change.
Please change...

2009-07-21T20:32:00.002+08:00

I won't sms you until you sms me, I know you'll never read my blog cause it's boring, or so you said. And when I told myself I'll not sms you, you smsed me today. I was quite shocked. Hope you keep your word though(: hopefully you do...or so I hope. I shan't bother about all this anymore. I'll let things happen as they should. I'm happy today. I can't wait for friday!(: Excited! hahah, lazy to blog about the rest of the day

So what if you don't care
So what if I can't make you happy
So what if you think I'm boring
Cause you aren't that interesting
neither do you make me happy anymore
So why should I care?
Your something of the past, honey.

2009-07-20T20:05:00.002+08:00

I can't stand it anymore. Everything's going the wrong way again, why? Is that how much luck I have?

This tears that I hide, you'll never see them, honey.

2009-07-19T16:19:00.001+08:00

Just like the wind,
you left me alone
in the dark
did you even care
you're just another lost memory

my friends tell me to forget you,
but each time you talk to me,
the walls I built, crumble to dust.

2009-07-18T19:49:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, you know you should let go of the past, but somehow... I can't seem to let it go. I never seem to be able to let it go, like all other things, I cant let it go away in this way. Or can I? I can't find the strength anymore. What's wrong with me? I'll try my very best to focus on things and people who mean the most to me, cause I dun wanna end up like this again. Always only start appreciating what the person has done for me towards the end instead of treasuring them from the start. I'm really sorry if I have hurt anyone of you before, I'm sure I didn't do it purpose, it's just that I cant control my feelings, SORRY.

You made me fall so hard,
& you're not here to take my hand
and lift me up from the ground.

ps, you should really read this honey,
I bet you dun even know how I feel.
or maybe you do, but you're just ignoring me.
please don't do this to me, honey,
it's killing me):

2009-07-17T19:14:00.002+08:00

The past few days have been going well. Guess what, I can actually play soccer tomorow! I can't wait! What if I can't sleep tonight? Will someone sing me a lullaby? hahah. I'm feeling damn happy, like somthing good is gonna happen soon. Time will tell I guess, right? So till that good thing happens, I'll be waiting anxiously! hahah. I still can't believe that person asked for (insert word here). Try hard guessing, anyways, I shall chiong through my homework as I have to wake up damn early to meet SAJC girls! I can't wait! hahah.

I feel like I can run as fast as a lightening bolt!
Stop making me bring my hopes up high,
only to let them crash hard on the ground.
Cause I dun think I can take it anymore.

2009-07-16T18:38:00.002+08:00

Heyo! I've decided, I'm gonna concentrate on my studies more. I won't bother about other things as much as I can. I'll play soccer, one day, maybe on saturday I guess.I really wanna play soccer! I'm so thirsty now,

& like how the rain washes away the dry soil,
I'll wash you away with my tears, honey...
cause you ain't worth my time and effort(:

2009-07-15T19:28:00.002+08:00

Today turned out to be a good day like I expected. I was feeling damn happy for I dunno what reason(: You should ask Diana and Chris about it. I hope things will always be like that, hoping.Today was fun! Found out from mr low that all after school activities were can celled as 404 has one confirmed case of H1N1.): Quite scary though, it's like they get treated specially.lol. And if you have H1N1 during Os you will have to repeat it again next year. Hopefully everyone in our class stays ok. So after hearing that all group studies were cancelled, we were so damn happy! Can go out and there won't be bio practical tomorow! So after school, went to eat lunch...ate instant noodles at queenstown cc. Then slacked there a while and I started singing love games! my new favourite song! Then started talking about sick stuff, damn funny! And someones name has a sick meaning, thanks to hernani and zuzu I think. I enjoyed today after much sorrow in the past few days. Happy moments! I love!

I've really got no idea what to make out of you. One minute you're ignoring me, the next you are there, talking to me like nothing sour had happened.What am I suppose to do? Give me a sign, any sign of what will happen... Where's my gut feeling when I really need it?):

2009-07-14T16:47:00.002+08:00

Each day keeps getting worse, instead of getting better. Today I was only one step away from the soccer ball, but I couldn't play. How much does that suck? This week's gonna be bad, somehow I feel it already. I hate this feeling, I really don't wanna feel like this.

I'm trying so hard, but somehow people never seem to appreciate it.& it especially hurts when it's someone you really care and love. Maybe it's about time to let go, but I don't wanna let go. But I'm learning how to let go.(: I'm hoping things would get better soon.Hoping, hoping, hoping...

2009-07-13T20:16:00.002+08:00

School seems to be too much these days. I really hope I can skip school or something but nah, it's not worth it. Hopefully I'll be able to play soccer tomorow. I really wish I would be able to. Sigh...

With every step, it seems like I'm stepping into hell.
After every day, I feel too weak to carry on.
I really feel like giving up now...
Please lead the way and guide me.

2009-07-12T20:22:00.002+08:00

You made me fall so hard,
Now I'm waiting, waiting
for you to pick me up.
Cause this time, I think
I won't be able to go on my
own, like I did before.

2009-07-12T11:51:00.004+08:00

Prelims is in 5 weeks time, officially and I've yet to start studying seriously. Hoping to start tonight, hopefully I don't get bothered about anything else while studying. Tuition in an hours time, I'm so lazy to go cause it's chemistry! I hate chem, there are tons of homework for chem and I've yet to start it. I'm gonna be so dead on monday I guess, hahah. At least diana and fatin won't do it as well(: hahah. And I will try hard to not go out next week, and will be playing soccer on saturday, hopefully. How long has it been since I really played soccer? It's been almost 3 weeks, I never knew I could have survived without soccer for so long.
I love soccer the way you love your boyfriend!(:

Where'd you go? I miss you so...

2009-07-11T19:42:00.002+08:00

Yesterday was aesthetics night, it was fun! enjoyed it alot, after aesthetics night went to clementi to eat roti pratha but couldn't find it so ended up eating fishball noodles and hernani didn't eat anything. Then went back home and diana slept over at my place last night. Slept at 2 instead of staying up the whole night. cause diana ended up falling asleep =.=" and the pic on top, mr tan looks like a student, if only his face more younger! hahah. So yeah thats all for now. I shan't vent my anger here.

2009-07-01T17:45:00.002+08:00

It's been quite long since I last updated so I'll update today. School sucks, seriously suck. So many unexpected, bad things are happening. It's getting on my nerves and I just realised I haven't played soccer for one week and one day, quite long eh. I really really wanna play soccer now, but there's no one to play with now):

& when something seems too good to be true,
you should just push it faraway from you.
people can seem deceiving,
god save the soul and shower it with love.

2009-06-23T21:27:00.003+08:00

Today was a not so bad day. I went for jjc soccer training, although only a few people turned up, it was fun. Usual what. But the way it ended was bad. Hope everything gets fine soon. I feel like giving up trying my best, it ain't worth the effort. Maybe I should try, but is it not too late to study now?

& sometimes when you really need someone to talk to, even your bestfriend isn't there...sadded.

2009-06-20T17:02:00.003+08:00

Heyo! I still slacking at home, later still needa go temple. I don't wanna go!!): But I've go no choice, for my grandfather I'll go. I'm so bored. I'm watching boys over flowers cause of hernani. She make me a little bit addicted. But soccer is still the most addictive thing! I bet got alot of people agree with me. I've been wanting to play soccer but got no one. I must go find friends who can play soccer with me. I just wanna play soccer, is that too much to ask for? I wanna go char's house, shopping, play soccer and maybe complete a couple of homeworks for next week.

2009-06-17T21:52:00.002+08:00

Heyos! Today was tiresome yet fun. Well, quite. Went for jjc training this morning. Laikuan overslept=.=" Then left training early to meet hernani at jurong point. And someone said my kicking is good, I abit shocked ah. No one told me that before, and i think my kicking skills sucks for nuts. But whatever. Then went to KFC to eat cause I was starving. Diana offered me her burger but then took it back and gave me some cheese fries to eat. My throat became like that cause of coke. Then met zuzu and went to hernani's house. And instead of doing the project we ended up taking pictures, we even asked hernani's brother to take pics for us. Then zuzu and hernani can still watch boys over flowers? Quite interesting ah, lol. And then me and Diana left early. Only came home to get scolded cause I 'shouted' at my parents. What would I do if my throat is like that and I needa shout in order to be heard. Not my fault. My throat is still killing me despite the medicine I took. I should go and rest but I don't feel like sleeping yet. Good night and sweet dreams.

Are you just a dream? Or are you real?
You confuse me.

2009-06-16T21:45:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, it feels as if your trying so damn fucking hard to do something and people just seem not to care. It kinda hurts, but I guess I'll get used to it, or so I hope.

Where did you go when I needed you the most?

2009-06-15T23:01:00.002+08:00

I'm scared to raise hope, cause I'm scared it'll come crashing down the very next moment.

you make my heart lose its rhythm(:

2009-06-12T19:34:00.003+08:00

My favorite!(:

Hello! Today was, well, tiring. Woke up early to go for JJC training. The weather sucked to the max today. You could see heatwaves at like 11 plus, felt like I was playing at jalan besar stadium at 2 plus or republic poly. But the training was fun, felt exactly like old queensway training. Anyways, after training, was supposed to go eat, but laikuan scared late so instead we bought curry puff and pie from the petrol station. Then headed home, I still have an headache. It hurts so badly that i just feel like sleepign, that would be dumb cause not eating will only make it feel worse. Go away headache! I hate you!

Jumping and tryna reach for the brightest star in the sky.

2009-06-10T20:00:00.002+08:00

Heyos! Mind the pics, was camwhoring with the nazi shirt as i was damn bored and had nothing to do. And I really miss the cheers, alot. Soccer is the LOVE! Will blog more tomorow,

I feel like an empty, barren land, with no feelings.

2009-06-07T11:43:00.002+08:00

I'm blogging cause HERNANI asked me to. I will start studying from tomorow, I guess. No more slacking already. Besides, can I really stand a month without soccer? No, so I better start practicing maths and studying for other subjects as well. I've let down enough people already. Enough of studying and sad stuff already... This week has been quite good, done bits of studying here and there and went out a couple of times. Of course, my mum didn't know anything about me going out, :P And on Friday, I wore FBTs to school, and on the way walking to the bus stop there was this bangla guy who was literally staring at my leg!!!! After that I like damn pekchek, all Diana's fault, ask me to wear FBTs. Sickening ah, this kind of people...like so despo. And I'm thinking of baking cookies but my mukm scolded me for baking the same cookies again and again. But I like baking that cookie what, sickening. The weekends are the most boring): I WANNA PLAY SOCCER! There's nothing to look forward to in school now that there'e no more soccer for me.

2009-06-03T21:39:00.002+08:00

Whee! Heyos! I changed my blogskin again. I've got so many things to do, but I've yet to find the time and discipline to do it. Sucks but I'll eventually start doing all my homeworks and start studying as well I hope. And does anyone know how to make a portfolio? Please do teach me how to write it and stuff, it'll be greatly appreciated(: Love that jumpshot to the max(:
Goodnight and sweet dreams.

Ain't gonna waste another minute regretting
Ain't gonna waste another minute on you
It ain't worth the mess,

2009-06-02T19:45:00.004+08:00

The blue skies have started to turn grey.
The colorful flowers are starting to wilt.
The rains starting to pour hard on me.
The thunders roaring in the distant.
As darkness started to envelop me.

2009-05-28T19:09:00.002+08:00

Heyos! Haven't blogged in quite some time due to exams, trainings, intensive tamil and with tamil O level coming soon. Yesterday was my last game for queensway and I really enjoyed it despite the weather and despite the fact that we weren't playing for 1st and 2nd placing. It's a pity, but hard luck eh? But all of us had the bestest game yesterday! I'm already starting to miss it!

I will miss trainings, the team, the game and everythingelse. I wish to play with them again(:

2009-05-25T19:10:00.002+08:00

Heyos! Dead blog, blogging for the sake of it. 'O' level tamil exam is coming so fast and yet I'm not worried so much yet. I'm more worried for wednesdays game and friday's parent teacher meeting. Then I'll start panicking for tamil. But I've got this feeling I wont get a distinction for tamil, so whats the point of taking the papers on 1st june. I'd rather take it during October when the paper's much easier. I should really start trying to read tamil newspaper and storybooks or write more compos and more practice. And I like the picture on top!

2009-05-18T21:53:00.002+08:00

Last day of exam baby! Waiting for it for super long! Today we had training, I loved it even though my throat hurted badly and sometime through I couldn't really breathe properly. Hopefully, I'll get well soon by wednesdays game. I wanna have a gold medal this year! My throat is still killing me): I'll get well soon.

Get well, get well, get well, get well, get well, get well, get well!

2009-05-17T21:45:00.000+08:00

Just so stupid and foolish, to think of it now.
Why so dumb, you totally believed it?
STUPID, shankari.

2009-05-15T20:22:00.003+08:00

Heyos! It's been sometime since i last blogged. So today is almost the last day of exams! And I'm damn happy cause of that I guess.The past few days were spent on studying like some crazy idiot. So, I think I'm going to flunk some of my exams very badly. Like last week on monday went to study with diana, brandon and christabelle. It was quite productive, I managed to make notes for history. My topic spotting is like wow ah, the ones I studied for history right...all got come out, lucky or what? So after all the staying back everyday after exams to study, I think I can pass most of my subjects(: hopefully, that is. So today after exams, went to Vivo with Diana & Fatin. It was damn fun! was taking pictures and diana and fatin were lying down.And on the way walking home, I saw 2 helicopters! And I felt happy for that, hahah. I feel happy for the smallest things that happens.

2009-05-02T16:01:00.003+08:00

Today, I went to Chinatown with diana after geography lesson.(: And I bought that top! I think it's super nice!! And the on top ones are long overdue pictures...blog more another day cause my dad is shouting at me. :S

2009-05-01T19:20:00.002+08:00

As the problems start to pour in again,
It's a time in which i should remain calm.

For doing what you did, I think I should write about you in my blog,
But then again, it's a waste of my effort and time...
I'll just let you do whatever you want cause it doesn't mean anything.

2009-04-20T20:41:00.002+08:00

Today was probably the worst day.
That stupid mistake,if only it could be undone.
And no, I won't let history repeat itself no matter what.
A promise isn't meant to be broken...

2009-04-18T17:10:00.002+08:00

The weeks been long and tiring, am glad that the weekends are finally here.But I still had to wake up early this morning cause there was soccer at 8.15 and geog at 9.30. Dia passing drill during training and I'm happy with how I'm playing now(: Like alot of difference from last year this time.I still wanna a score a goal before I leave this school! Hahaha, I LOVE SOCCER! Midyears are coming soon, I'm scared...but still I don't feel like studying. I just have to do well for mid years so that can qualify for DAE...I guess I'll start from next tuesday, since I have to stay back till 6 everyday starting on tuesday): So much for not doing homeworks and not listening in class, serves you right shank.And there's a match on Monday, and I'll be playing Laikuan's position so I guess I have to command more and defend more properly.(: But that means I'll have even lesser chance of scoring a goal, but it's okay. Oh and laikuan val and bobo are funny like hell! haha.And me and diana were like fighting for drink cans, then the uncle like give us more! yay, I probably will get a good for my conduct.*hope and prays* I feel happy now, it's not like going to class to find someone who is sad and to know that your partly the cause for it, it kinda hurts...but it's not my fault. I don't care what that ass thinks of me and I'll continue being her friend,

It's wreaking my soul to see you like that, never seen you being so sad before...cheer up,friend(:

2009-04-05T12:01:00.002+08:00

This week has been long.I still feel damn worn out, at least there's no bio remedial and group study!Tomorow, there's adam khoo workshop, hope I'll feel better after that session even though it's only for 2 hours. I feel so frustrated, but what can I do, right? Everything I do seems wrong, I'm lost, I dunno whats right or wrong anymore and I really hope and pray that things will start to get better soon. I believe it will get better. Will post some pictures some other day.

2009-03-25T21:11:00.002+08:00

After this few events and talking to a few people, I realised how much I'm not myself anymore. After thinking about all this things, I feel so weak, so broken. Like I'm missing the best part of something. So I guess I'm gonna go back to being myself, not bothering much about others. Blog another day!

Like the wind, your gone seconds after you come.

2009-03-18T12:57:00.002+08:00

Hello! Today had maths remedial at 10.15. Before that, I went to my grandmother's house to kill time. Then, my uncle went to clear all his army stuff so I took photos with them on cause I was bored. And the photos are above(: And and the fan right is BLOODY HUGE that if I wanna fan myself with it I will have to stretch my hand super far away from my space. Then after that went for maths, it was boring but at least can talk to zuzu(: Then zuzu got scolded for not paying attention but she was paying attention ah...she just show me the answer only then kena scolding.Like mrs Toh got moodswing. Then other people also...aiya, but who cares? Yeah, yesterday right I got cramp for the first time, I dun like! It's still slightly painful now but it'll get better soon and I wanna go and run but it's bloody hot now...maybe tomorow morning I will run cause coach said my fitness level should be better, and sports day is coming so fast and furious(:

2009-03-14T20:58:00.002+08:00

March holidays have officially started!(: I feel so happy today for no apparent reason. Went to the IT show today and it was bloody crowded and it wasn't much. Most of the prices were still the same.But I bought a memory card.I got squashed pretty badly, and one time, got like 3 people step on my feet and then I cannot move then I was trying to pull my leg away like some idiot. Then after that went to marina square, and saw small kids dancing, damn nice lah I tell you. They're damn small and yet they could dance so well. And the holidays aren't holidays...there's school almost every single day.

Monday- Tamil remedial, 1-4 WTF!!!!
Tuesday-Tamil remedial,9-12 and soccer at 3!!!((:
Wednesday-Maths remedial,10.15-11.45
Thursday-Maths remedial,10.15-11.45, soccer at 3(:
Friday- Free day!

2009-03-13T19:11:00.002+08:00

This week has been bad and I'm glad that it's finally over(:
Monday was quite okay, it started from yesterday, I failed my pure geog test, I only got 5/15. Pathetic, right? My Geog, I never got so low before and so I cried. Then,after that during training, I think I played like shit. Like I take my position for granted...I feel so pissed off. Then today, that stupid teacher...damn BITCH! Purposely, only ah. She ask me do my work and not read then she can talk to two other people and they no need to do the work given ah? So bastard for what. I think she cannot be teacher. And...aiya, forget it ah. It's okay one, she's just another one of those idiots. Now, I needa find a place to vent all my anger out. Lucky, I can control my temper these days... You know, I was like 'shaking' while I was controlling. And I failed my maths test by like 3 1/2 marks.I sadded and pissed off. And I will work hard from now on, I really should get started.

2009-03-05T17:22:00.002+08:00

I feel miserable. I've got no idea why. It feels as if everyone is hiding something from me. Sometimes, I feel like venting my anger on people but it's not nice right. So you try other ways to vent it, but how? I'm losing myself, I need to break something or something just to vent my anger.

There's always a rainbow after a rain.

2009-02-28T21:25:00.002+08:00

Hello! I bought a dress today and i like it lots! So yeah and the pic witht he cat right was like earlier this week. So cute right? I like! Will blog more tomorow, im lazy.

2009-02-26T17:11:00.002+08:00

I've got no idea what's going around me, it'd be nice if one day everything was fine like how it felt when you were young. I wish I could go back, so the past few days of school were okay, not so great but after soccer I feel so happy(: I've no idea why but I feel like I've achieved something! So yeah, been trying to cheer people out this week together with diana. And i should be happy and lucky to have such good friends who make my day and make me look forward to the next. Had chemistry test today,I hope I pass even though I didn't study...and there's a test on Cuban missile crisis tomorow. And the match tomorow was postponed to monday, was relly looking forward to it starting this week...and there'll be 2 matches next week, I'm excited yet scared...hope can be in first 11.

Which side do i believe?
spectators?
Stuck):

2009-02-21T19:33:00.004+08:00

Hello! Yesterday was cross country. It was at, er Japanese gardens...I like the place there, it's quiet and serene and peaceful. So I got 5th position this year, I dissapointed ah, I wanted top 3 but yeah its okay. And you know, Diana, Zuzu and Fatin ran! And and Diana and zuzu got top 50, I so proud of them(: And Fatin say she punctured,so cannot run fast. Then they were taking photos with the trophy, the pictures....

Then today had math and geography remedial. Geography was super fun, was talking about food, like why indians get heart attack and chinese get cancer and about all the disgusting stuffs people in our class had eaten...Diana ate frog eggs, said it was super disgusting and the white part is like jelly(unwanted info). Then after geography remedial we went to tiong, Diana Hernani Sirhan and me. I think after today Sirhan won't go out with us anymore. Haha, then we ate instant noodles and Sirhan ate something from subway. And then we walked and saw raudha, maykuan and others. Then after that Hernani and sirhan left. Then diana and me walked around looking for nice dress...then home sweet home(: And there's soccer on monday...I feel excited today even though it's gonna get more tiring as tournament is starting soon...but I'll manage I guess and I'm getting Bio and Chem tuition cause I dun understand what Mr low is teaching and Mr mah made me sit at the side): I'm gonna complain to mrs toh hmph haha and the pictures we took today!(: Most of it taken by Sirhan cause he nothing to do I think haha.

2009-02-15T12:35:00.002+08:00

Happy post for Diana. Yesterday had soccer match against VJC, and we lost to them. But yeah it's better than last year! Then tomorow got match against hwachong JC and on wednesday is with JJC. And tomorow will give people present...belated valentines gift(: I hope everyone will be happy tomorow. Oh and my dad wants to get me tuition for science if I don't do well in the coming tests. Will blog more next week. I feel like I achieved something, I feel happy after yesterday(:

2009-02-13T19:16:00.002+08:00

Hello! Everyone around me is like sad. I can't stand it and when you're sad everyone else is happy. It's this stupid feeling that I keep feeling. I feel like I'm missing some important part of my life and I'm scared that I'll regret it in the end. I feel like some failure, as in, other things other than studies. It's like, the thing you love the most but you keep trying but you still can't get it. I feel like giving up but it's just abit too soon to give up now that I've come so far. I feel lost.):

lead me in the right way, when I really need it most.

2009-01-15T18:55:00.002+08:00

It's been ages since the last post. Since the year started, I had no time to use com.): sucks like hell. There's remedial everyday after school and on top of that we still have tons homework to complete and submit the next day or tests. I'll blog more another day. I feel like deleting this blog...

2009-01-07T21:15:00.002+08:00

Whee! Today's like second week of school. There's remedial everyday after school, sucks big time): But no choice right, this year o levels. I feel so old,like senior of school. Then soon, I'll leave secondary school,damn sadded. I don't wanna leave secondary school. Oh yeah and new year resolutions...I've got no idea what to do. I want good results for o levels, like doing better than some people.Then, then, play better soccer? That's all, blog's DEAD.

2008-12-29T11:48:00.002+08:00

school's gonna start in exactly 4 days, I can't wait! But but there's O levels next year): Gonna cut hair later today I think...I dunno what to blog about(: Will blog some other day when there's something.

2008-12-16T19:12:00.002+08:00

Wow, I literally spent the whole holiday rotting at home. I've got no one to go out with, literally. Somehow everyone has something to do except me. So,this holiday was a totally wasted something, time I guess. I feel like some idiot for wasting so much time...maybe it's me or it's just that things are always like that. I hate feeling this way but I can't help it, it's happened before, so there's a slight chance it might happen again. Ignore this post. I just feel lonely, maybe I really am lonely.

2008-12-08T19:09:00.002+08:00

It's been super long since I last blogged. I didn't have the time I think...the blog's dead anyways, no one's visiting so what's the point of updating. I'm free for the whole of this week! No soccer! Oh and I've got a uncle who is a fifa certified referee! I shocked! My family is like super big!super coolios!

I'm addicted to pet society!

2008-12-01T12:57:00.002+08:00

OMG! TWILIGHT IS GONNA BE OUT SOON...AND THE TRAILER IS LIKE AWESOME-NESS!
I WANNA SEE THE MOVIE! THE TRAILER...

sorry, I abit too excited! The trailer is just so awesome...imagine how good the movie would be.

2008-11-30T19:23:00.003+08:00

Fatin
Fatin, diana honey((: I like this pic.
Charmaine sweets(:
Diana honeyzxzxz((:
Hello! Today morning went for wedding. Spoilt my super nice sleep. I'm having sleep problems. I feel awake now...The pictures above taken at sentosa one. I'm starting to miss them already.):

2008-11-29T19:56:00.002+08:00

Heyo! Yesterday had class outing...didn't go for OBS outing. But I saw them,meeting them on 15 dec. So yeah, yesterday was super fun, but I think the barbeque was way better than this outing. Only a few people turned up, like 16? And we, I dunno...the feeling at the barbeque was like everyone talking and having fun together but yesterday everyone was like in their own cliques. But it was nice meeting up with diana,charmaine,fatin,zuzu,hernani and the rest. Left Sentosa at around 4++ then ate at banquet. Andand they celebrated Fatin's and Juyan's birthday at the skypark I think. But I went back home early with Diana. She's got camp...and she didn't pack and she had to be there by 7 and we only left vivo at 615.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY FATIN!(:

2008-11-22T14:45:00.002+08:00

Hello! There's a class outing and OBS outing on 28 November. The best part they're both on the same day and same place! How? How? Timing clashes abit I will meet OBS mates at 10 and class mates at 11.30. Which one should I go for? Stuck in the center of 2 things): I'll think about which one to go for...

I'm using only one eye to see. HAHAHA. My left eye's upper lid is swollen,so there's a icecube wrapped in tissue there. It's melting, water is dripping all over the place. It's so painful! At least it's getting smaller(: I'm looking for a job verybadly, but can't seem to find one. I can't commit all 5 days, underage and the pay. Maybe I'm too fussy...but what's the point in working at Mac when one meal costs about 5-6 bucks but you only earn, what 4.50 per hour? Not worth it, plus it's kinda boring and hectic. Found a couple of jobs that I wouldn't mind doing but I can't commit the time or I don't know the pay.): Maybe I'm just a lil' too greedy. If I don't find a job,maybe only maybe, I might open a blogshop. I'm still thinking.

2008-11-20T20:51:00.003+08:00

I've got nothing to blog about...

Did I made a mistake?
I feel lost.
Lead the way for me to follow.

2008-11-20T19:51:00.002+08:00

10 weird things / habits / little known facts about myself.Tagged by Raudha.(:

1.I can get angry easily for no reason.
2.I eat alot yet I gain no weight
3.I wanted to be a spy when I was young.
4.I hate going to see doctors.
5.I love to play soccer when the field is muddy.
6.I don't bother washing my dirty soccer boots and socks till
one day before training.
7.I love collecting random stuff.
8.I don't like eating vegetables.
9.I can't ride a bicycle.):
10.I hate swimming.

2008-11-15T17:20:00.002+08:00

Hello! I'm blogging after a very long long time. So nothing much happened this week other than trainings. Oh and on wednesday after training, went to hawker. Then all of us,raudha laikuan siti and me,followed Thalia to her bus-stop. It was late and quite dark then not safe for her to go alone...so accompanied her.NICE PEOPLE(: Then raudha kept dancing to disturbia and siti kept on singing. Then today had soccer again. Saw mr chua(:

I'm having weird dreams of people I don't even know well. Weird,huh?

2008-11-07T16:30:00.002+08:00

Why do I feel this way?

I feel so moodless, lost. I'm always lost in thought.The computer is giving me problems too.The fonts are just not right on blogger, it's annoying for god's sake. I hope to find HOPE and FAITH,it'd be so much easier if you have faith. Why is it always me? Pissed off. I realize, it's always because of this one person...tell me it's not true, cause I'm starting to believe it.

Take away my fears,all of them.
Give me faith, hope..that everything'll be fine.
All I need is strength, to carry on.
Show me the light and lead the way.

2008-11-02T20:05:00.002+08:00

I feel super pissed off now. The computer is so cocked up. Why can't it work right? It's getting on my nerves. I can't download live messenger, it keeps directing me to this site. Then now the fonts look as if they're in bold when they're not in bold. The computer is also starting to lag. I feel like punching the screen or something violent...but I'll risk not having a computer at all. I feel like screaming! STUPID SHIT

2008-10-30T19:34:00.002+08:00

Looks can be deceiving.

Hello world! Today was a plain, boring day. I never got my contacts today): I'll get it tomorrow I think,hopefully. I feel dead tired. I should study, or pay more attention more in class, but somehow I don't. I'm so hopeless. One side of head is hurting...I feel like a FAILURE. Seriously, people try to get me to pay attention in class by asking me to sit in front but I refuse and talk to Diana and also distract her. Why are you like that, shank? I'm spending money like nobody's business, and there's inflation and recession going on. What if things turn out wrongly? What if something just has to happen? Even the mere thought freaks me out. I feel like I'll let my parents down again next year. There's so many things to learn and so little time. But I don't spend my time wisely.I don't like this feeling. I'll probably end up sleeping again...instead of doing homework. Stupid girl. I feel worn out. I should go and rest, but if I rest then I won't be able to study, or do homework): Maybe I shouldn't be using the computer...oh man! I hate myself for being fickle minded.

Why do I feel like that? I know it's not true. But, there's this fear in me. Why am I always the one who's out of place? Tell me that I'm wrong. Fill me up again.

rush of emotions

2008-10-29T19:19:00.000+08:00

I feel pissed. For no apparent reason, I'm making a wordpress account. People say it's good and it's better than blogger...but you can't change your link. It's fixed. But you can create another blog or something and transfer the posts. Cool stuff right? Oh, I just finished creating it. I feel a rush for time. Besides, there's chemistry homework...I don't feel like doing it but I'll just try. Even though he scolds me for getting it wrong, I know that I did put in effort to do them. (: So I'll be happy! I feel happy.

2008-10-27T22:01:00.003+08:00

HAPPY DEEPAVALI!Thanks to all those who wished me!(:

So went to my grans house in the morning. Then went to another grans house in pasir ris. Then went to aunt's house in Clementi. They have this super cute dog! I like! So it was playing with me..Then suddenly became hyper. It made me fall back and was lying ontop of me! But he's so so so so cute! Such a wonderful dog, but I've no idea what breed it is. Can anyone tell me what breed it is?

2008-10-26T23:07:00.002+08:00

Hello! My blog's been dead. I was busy! For the first time, I feel that time is really flying. Step ahead starts on Tuesday. Tomorrow is deepavali! Can go eat like some pig and get money. Money is the root to all evil, as well as making the world go around. I'm talking crap.

On Friday got the raya outing, and I had soccer at the same time so couldn't go. Soccer, it was known to me on short notice. Why didn't I just say I had to clean up the house. Damn...sadded): But it's okay. I feel weird...I'll go do somethingelse, I don't feel like blogging!

2008-10-23T18:54:00.003+08:00

Hello! Today is the last day of school, the reason to all the pics and stuff. It's the last day for those who retain or go to 4NA. The class wouldn't feel the same without this few people who are retaining or going to 4NA. It'll feel weird... but they'll still be our friends! I love 302! Oh and step ahead starts next week Tuesday, thanks to deepavali on Monday(: I can't wait for the food. There are still more pictures to be posted, but I don't have the pictures. The pictures are with Shin Mun! Our class was like jumping all over the place,but Mrs Toh came and she asked us to come up. And for those who retain, I'm sure they can do much better than what they did this year. And I hope our class does super well for 'O' levels next year! I feel so happy to be in 302! I LOVE 302!((: [the best class ever!(:]

2008-10-21T20:52:00.003+08:00

Hello! Today school finished early again. So we thought of going to anchor point, but we wanted to save money and I had to top up my card. So we went to the 7-11 at shell...but you can't top up there. So we bought instant noodles and went to Queenstown CC to eat, at the playground. So after that bought drinks and me and Diana were trying to take the extra bottle in the vending machine...unsuccessful though. SADDED. Then after that, we went to play and took pictures. We saw this super cute kiddos! Then we thought of working at minds or help at nursery or something. Then we saw this poster of to become an obs instructor then got my instructor face there! haha! The pay quite good leh...i think. Got so many things I wanna do but so little time. 'o' levels is next year, it's coming so soon. Jia Jia got straight As... She's so smart!(:

2008-10-19T21:20:00.003+08:00

Hello! I feel motivated to change people's life. I wanna become that instructor that kind of thing. It'd be fun, with Leroy and Candice! Imagine the happiness you can get by changing people's life. Nothing will beat that feeling, helping people. I miss it so badly. I used to do that in primary school, I was in red cross so yeah, social service! I shall not complain about life. I realized how lucky I really am... never felt this way before. It feels weird yet nice, that kinda light-headed feeling, like you feel like a kid again. I found who I really was, what I regretted doing and stuff. I feel like a new, changed person. I shall stop procrastinating, complaining and taking people,relationships for granted! I will do my best(: It might be a little late but I'll still make it!(: I feel happy!

I'M SORRY DIANA DIDN'T COME): I MISSED HER AND I LOVE DIANA LEE!

2008-10-18T22:41:00.002+08:00

Hello! Today was the last day of the ADAM KHOO WORKSHOP! If you think it's a waste of time, trust me it's not. If you hear it from me, it has to be true. It helps you to realize who you really are deep inside. It's a good course then, ain't it. I love Leroy! He like changed the way I used to look at life, I really appreciate that. How often do you meet such people? I love the adam khoo workshop thing. I wanna join them! RAWRR! Hahaha, can go with Siti then can HELP people! That would be nice! I feel like sleeping! I love Candice, Leroy and Danny! (:

2008-10-17T22:05:00.003+08:00

It's been awfully long since i last blogged. I realized that my blog is so dead! So I'm blogging although I'm dead tired. I haven't been blogging for a long time cause I was busy. I really was busy, like for the first time I didn't use the com everyday. Even during exam periods I used the computer everyday. So yeah, I was helping my mother and grandmother to bake cookies. It's one hell of a tiring job. The cookies turned out okay...though I didn't think it was nice, people said it was nice. So you see, you are your worst critic. The Adam Khoo workshop, it's good, really. For the first time, I find such a course useful! It made you reflect, look deep inside yourself and really know who you are deep inside. Oh, and you know there was this instructor, Leroy, he looks like dracula.He's funny though. I'll blog more on Sunday. I'm tired! Imagine sitting in one place for like around 11 hours+. It'll kill you! haha! Wait later, he kill your family![inside joke]

Move like a butterfly, sting like a bee.

2008-10-12T19:57:00.004+08:00

Kids!
DIANA LEE CHENG MEI!((:
Proposal eh?
Zoe's super 'good' camera skills!
Young at heart!(:

Hello! Yesterday had class outing, but before that, diana,zoe, siti,fatin and me met at queensway shopping centre. Then diana and zoe bought contact lens. Oh and they got free solution cause zoe asked for it. Like wtf right, they really give for free can!Then walked around queensway, and tried to make siti eat. She didn't eat since wednesday night. Abit shocking, wonder how she survives. Then walked to anchorpoint to go to F.O.S, and went to Ikea after that. Ikea is a super fun place! hahaha, I like! We played with the kids stuff. And and, zoe was daddy, siti mummy, fatin eldest daughter followed by diana and I was made the baby...expected right. Then changed to siti eldest daughter followed by the rest and zoe single mum. Damn fun okay! Oh then after that we bus-ed to Juyan's house. I'll post the pictures later, once I get all of them!

2008-10-09T19:08:00.003+08:00

Hernani!(:

Hello! All the pictures were taken inside the queenstown bowl. It used to be some 'havoc' place in the seventies. Wonder how this place looked like then.I like promoting people in my blog. Suddenly italic!This is not all the pics, maybe I upload them tomorrow with the class outing pictures! I think the place is nice! Quite interesting and scary! I can't wait for the class outing! I like damn excited now! I dunno why! I lazy blog....Tomorrow then blog properly!

2008-10-08T19:26:00.002+08:00

Hello! Finally, the exams are ending soon. Tomorrow's the last paper. Something to be happy about or just a reason to jump around like an idiot. Well, at least there's a class outing to look forward to, besides the anxious period that is spent waiting for your results. I'd wish to do something big. A sudden urge I guess.

I was trying to find out what happened to queenstown bowling alley, but however, the web does not say anything about it. They only talk about the good old times spent there, how nice the place was and how queenstown area used to be a very nice place, unlike it's state now.I quess I must have been searching for quite a long time till I got pissed off. Well, bits and pieces of the place that I heard. It got burnt down in a fire, and that it was open in 2001. That's it, nothing else. I feel pathetic that I can't find anything about it. Well, maybe I should ask around and find out more. hmm....weird stuff.

I should get studying soo.Maybe I'll blog tomorrow! I'll be hyper then!((: I likey!

2008-10-07T20:18:00.002+08:00

I feel tired.I want to starve. I feel tempted to jump off the building just to experience the sheer thrill of the wind blowing directly to your face,amazes me. I don't want to go to exams anymore.
The exams are killing me. ARGH...sian. I just wanna sleep! NOW!

2008-10-06T18:54:00.002+08:00

Hello! Amidst the exam I still can find time to blog. I'm rushing through this post! I got like super little confidence now. I want to like score the HIGHEST for bio, but then I don't know if I can. But I really want to, geog at least one of the top few! RELAX, shank... RELAX. I hate exams. Like stressful like one kind. Everyone seems to panic, but mine is like always the slowest reaction to panicking! It's bio, supposed to be one of my best subjects. I'm like so going to study like hell nuts to get higher than... er... Dione? or Cassandra? They're like super smart! Okay, I'm getting crappy. ARGH, stupid redbull, after effects.

2008-10-03T18:58:00.004+08:00

Today had social studies and maths paper 2. They nearly killed, more of showed me how unprepared I was. I regret not studying earlier...nothing's going inside my head. But , with the right mind and will, anything is possible. 'Impossible is nothing!' I found this OBS picture, reminds me of 5 days of torture. I kind of paid money to get tortured. It was a worthwhile experience though. Things you thought you'll never will be able to do, well, you can actually do it. I thought I'll never use a natural toilet, but well I did. I also learnt that if I can go through such torturous things, then I'd be able to conquer any obstacles, it gave me hope. I'm really grateful for that. I can't wait to go for OBS in JC...it'll be 9 days! I like! Only if women were allowed to serve 2 years of national service, I'd gladly be waiting for it. But you can only sign on if your a girl. Why this gender unequality? UNFAIR!

2008-10-02T19:28:00.003+08:00

Tomorrow's maths and social studies. No clues were given to us, though I think the SEQ won't be on bonding Singapore. But still a bit risky not to study, so I should start studying but it's like a must to use the com so I'm using it now and I revised a bit of maths. So I did study a bit right? Little improvement but still I did revise. I should eat and start studying soon, yeah soon. I wonder how long more. hmm...I'll blog about what happened today

Today is humanities day! 4 hours of humanities...it's boring right, well, not that bad. It's a matter of getting used to it. We thought Mr tan was away on reservist, but apparently he was in school. RELIEF! Else we'll get some super boring teacher for 2 hours! So, after that had English...suddenly we were talking about stuffs and started playing truth or dare, only that we only did the truth and not the dare. Then 2 hours of history/social studies, a hell lot of copying was done. It was tiring, my hand was hurting like hell... but no choice.

After school, decided to go study by ourselves. Instead of attending ms teo's remedial, it was only if you had questions. So, wen and desiree came along. Sat at canteen, ate and played black magic, not really black magic and some story about the golden gorilla and purple paradise and the ping pong ball stories. Leaving you in suspence. Then went up to library, tried to guess the black magic but unsuccessful. So later went to queenstown library to study(: I didn't really study. The best is to study with 1 or 2 people, if not you won't be able to concentrate... unless your listening to songs.

I should go and try to study or eat now, but I can't get myself to move away from the computer screen. I'm in an awfully good mood now, somehow... for no reason. I shall write good luck notes later, I can't study for long without doing anythingelse...Weird, I actually wrote in paragraphs as asked by Diana. WOW.

It struck like a lightening;
Lasted for an eternity,
Leaving me dying in the hands of mercy.

2008-10-01T19:23:00.002+08:00

I wonder why I get so worked up nowadays.Why do I feel this way? Like I feel too much pressure on me, but I can't ease it up.Everyone keep telling me that I'll surely go to sec 4, but nothing is decided till you get the results right.I guess people will be shocked if I retain, but really I don't study like some people do. I feel abit dissapointed. Maybe I'll study later. Tired,I've got nothing to do now. I can spend this time studying but I've got no mood but mood can't be the reason for not studying.

I really feel like giving up. I don't feel like studying. I just feel like sleeping the whole day. It's so hard to control the tears, What's wrong with me? I've got this feeling. Somehow, I keep looking at negative things. Like even though it's small, it's amplified by like a thousand times.The good things seem to small even if they're awfully good.

The rainbow's no longer colorful,it's grey...

2008-09-28T11:38:00.002+08:00

No one's reading my blog)): Exams are around the corner and instead of studying, I'm wasting time in front of the computer. I've got nothing to do but still, I just want to do something in the computer and not study or anything. I know, I'm supposed to study but I can't force myself to study. I wonder why I even bother blogging when no one comes here... sick and tired of this life. I shall study tonight or this afternoon. I've been sleeping instead of studying at night, DISAPPOINTING! There's like no one to talk to online, it's a Sunday and it's only 12.05? I'm bored! I shall entertain myself...but how? I'm being an idiot... STUDY SHANKARI, EXAMS COMING! I can't get that into my bloody brain, damn!